May 31, 2010

Because I’m not going out on dates every night of the week (a girl has gotta get some beauty rest!), not all of these stories will be my own. I have been witness to so many funny/idiotic exchanges my friends have experienced that I plan to steal them and make my own. So there.

It’s Easter Sunday and I’m out at a bar with my friends (shocker). I mean, Jesus rose … blah, blah, blah … let’s drink to celebrate! We’re listening to some country tunes when a young gentleman approached the table and said to my friend: “I like your hair.” As he says this, he playfully mussed her hair up with his hands. “It’s JBF,” he added.

We all quickly glanced at each other, none of us quite sure what he meant. Jiggly But Firm? Joyous Bouncy Fro? Is JBF some new hip term I’m not familiar with? LOL, IDK, TTYL, WTF???

Never one to bite my tongue after a few cocktails I asked him, “What does JBF stand for?” He grinned widely and matter-of-factly goes, “Just been f-cked.”

At this point I’m not sure what bothered me more, that he was clearly turned on by the fact that she looked like she’s just been repeatedly drilled by a large sweaty man, or that it’s a common-enough term to warrant an abbreviation.

Dating Rule #6

If a girl looks like she’s just been f-cked and you use this as a pickup line, she will not be f-cking you.


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