August 26, 2010

Cycling back to my Internet dating, my first “online” date was rather disastrous, and I’m surprised I did not pull the plug after it. Clearly I am ill equipped for these types of situations. It should have been one and done.

The guy I met out was a few years older and lived in a suburb nearby where I grew up. We had some common interests, and he seemed mature and funny, so I was open to meeting him in person. He was recently divorced and had a young daughter, but, wanting kids myself one day, I was perfectly okay with that setup.

I was just keeping my fingers crossed that he was perfectly okay with alcoholics.

We decided to meet for dinner in the city. The weather was not so great, so he took the train downtown to meet me. I work near the train station, so we agreed to meet there and grab a bite to eat somewhere close by.

Well, unfortunately he missed the train, which I find out somewhat late. At a loss for what to do on a Friday night at 6 p.m., I could only think of one thing: Drink.

I sat down in the train station bar and began downing drinks. Again, this was my first Internet date, so I will use the nervous excuse again. I told myself I would only drink one or two, but I believe that I actually had more like four.

Four Captain and Diets. Sigh.

When his train finally arrived, I was feeling rather giddy. We went on to dinner, and I am having an absolute blast. However, I honestly think I would have had an absolute blast with a tranquilized monkey. Much of the conversation from the date is blurry, but after tossing some wine flights on top of the Captain and me only nibbling my food, this is rather understandable.

Keep in mind that this guy was a father and rather new to the dating world. I do NOT think I was a good introduction to what type of girl was out there.

What I do remember VERY clearly is that he was very intent on getting a train home. And by intent, I mean we RAN back to the train station. Seriously, full-out running. Not power walking or a light jog. I worked up a sweat. The reason he gave for being so intent on getting back to Arlington Heights? Because he (and I quote) “had to feed his dog.”

For real.

I was somewhat embarrassed, but figured it was an improvement from my other drunk first date debacle. Although I had “accidentally” gotten pretty drunk on the date, at least I stayed away from naughty topics! I actually wished I had talked about some inappropriate things just to see the shocked look on his face. I definitely should have had a little more fun with this guy. Insert the topics of beastiality, incest, or just general discussions on violence and murder.

Dating Rule:

Do not use needing to feed your dog as an excuse to leave a date. I’m no vet, but I think Mr. Bojangles will survive a few hours with no food. Especially because my date worked from home and was with his dog all day!

I may be a drunk, but I’m no idiot.

I know I can come on pretty strong and possibly inappropriate but loosen up, and you just may find yourself having a good, albeit strangely interesting, time.

I’m pretty sure the real reason he wanted to go home early was to go beg his ex-wife to take him back.

If I’m who is left out there … SCARY!


4 Responses to “BOW WOW”

  1. marinasleeps Says:

    Awww I would date you.

  2. CrystalSpins Says:

    I’m doing this so that I can subscribe to your blog…

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